All in the family
by thejabber
Summary: Isshin is rogue that loves too peep Soifon has the hots for Ichigo and somehow somewhere someone wins a new car.
1. Chapter 1

All in the Family

By

Thejabber27

Chapter 1: O' Canada and the bag of Beef Jerky

Isshin Kurosaki was on his way to Kisuke's shop for his centennial gigai check-up; has it really been 100 years thought Isshin as he turned the corner into the alleyway and saw the familiar sign that read Urahara's Shop.

"Yo," Call Isshin "Anyone home!!?"

Kisuke poked his head out the window and said "Hi Isshin what brings you to my humble Shop."

"Kisuke you know I need my gigai checked up today" Isshin said sarcastically.

"Ah, Yes I'll need you to exit your gigai then" Kisuke turned around and shouted " Tessai I need you to take Isshin's gigai to the lab"

The doors slid open and a Giant man with glasses and corn rolls stepped out "right away sir,"

Isshin stepped out of his gigai and appeared in his shinigami form "Wow it's like the difference between cold cuts and surfing the net for porn"

"O…Kay then Isshin come back in a few hours and it'll be ready," said Kisuke "and remember you need to hide your reiatsu from everyone"

"Yeah, yeah I got it," Isshin said stretching out his legs "To the female side of the public bathhouses awayyyyy" he exclaimed and flashed out to his Favorite bathhouse.

"Well now that that's settled let's mess around with his gigai, Tessai to the lab!" Kisuke said with a devilish grin as he hurried to his lab.

Soi Fon had just finished her patrols for the day and was just about to go to relax when she sensed a huge hollow coming from the edge of Karakura town, Yay she thought this gives me a chance to see Kurosaki kun ooh the thought of him made her legs go to mush and she tripped over a building and fell right into a garbage dumpster "Ewwww" shouted Soi Fon she didn't mind sweat and dirt from a hard days work but even she hated covered in filth and grime "now Ichigo won't wanna talk to me."

Then Soi Fon remembered about Kisuke's Shop and remembered she had some extra money this month she could buy some spare clothes from him so she got out of the dumpster and Flashed over to Kisuke's shop.

"That'll about do it" said Kisuke as he Tessai exited the lab and went to their foyer. "I can't believe we finished it in half the time now for the wait let's have some Oolong tea Tessai."

"Yes sir," said Tessai as he went into the kitchen to boil some water when he suddenly smelled the most vile thing to penetrate his nostrils in years it smelled like rotten eggs, dirty diapers, bad cheese, burned food, and rotten cabbage all mixed into one. "Sir I think we have a customer," Tessai said as he pinched his nose with his thumb and his forefinger.

"I believe you're right Tessai" Kisuke said as he went to the front of his shop and slid open the door "welcome to my humble shop Fon and what can I help you with today"

"I need some new clothes obviously," said Soi Fon in an annoyed fashion "what do you have in a size 4"

"May I suggest a bath first because you can dress shit up all fancy but it'll still smell like shit" said Kisuke as he waved his hand in the air "may I suggest a bathhouse"

"But I'm not in a gigai and I don't have one on me," Exclaimed Soi Fon now getting frustrated.

"You can borrow one of ours for a nominal fee," said Kisuke with a grin on his face.

"Sure whatever I'll take one then," said Soi Fon who was thinking about Ichigo and her on a beach fucking like rabbits she imagined him thrusting in and out of her it got her so wet just thinking about it for get the bath she would just clean herself in her own sex juices.

"Here it is Soi Fon," said Kisuke as he brought out a gigai from his shop.

"Thanks said Soi Fon as she stepped in the body, it feels a bit heavy Kisuke, around the chest area," said Soi Fon.

"That's because the Breast size on this Gigai is bigger than your shinigami's body," said Kisuke with a smirk.

"Then get me one with smaller breast," she said grumpily "what if I have to fight in this thing, the unusual breast size will throw me off balance."

"I'm sorry Soi Fon this is the only one in your body type we have and you know how long it takes to make a gigai."

"Fine how big are these anyways Soi Fon said holding the gigai's breast with her hands, they feel like D's"

"They are 36 EE's," he said calmly.

"36 EE's!!!! You might as well hang a bimbo sign on me," She yelled.

"Well this is the prototype for the adult Ururu nice don't you think" He winked at her.

"What is she gonna be Yoruichi's pet," she cringed at remembering her former boss and her tendency to fondle Breasts whenever she felt like it.

"No, no, no you think I would let such beauty into the hands of Yoruichi; no Ururu is my pet project just having her in a more adult body will allow her to expand her Horizons and give me something to look at." He said in a lecherous tone.

"So am I a guinea pig then?" she said angrily.

"No you an unfortunate suck.... errr, respected customer," he said slyly.

"Whatever I don't have time for this where's the nearest Bathhouse?" she said anxiously.

"3 blocks east then 2 blocks north"

"Thanks," she said as she flashed off to the bathhouse in the unfamiliar Gigai

"Sir isn't that Isshin's favorite bathhouse?" Tessai said inquizzically.

"Why yes, I believe it is Tessai," said Kisuke grinning evilly " now back to the tea"

Isshin loved whoever invented bathhouses especially because no one could see him in his shinigami form and all the big boobs that he was ogling "So many College girls," he felt his throbbing member in his hand " I Feel like kid at a Canada day parade" he said as walked into the female open air bath section. "Now all I need is some sake and nope all I need is sake," he said as he walked on the water and looked at all the perky breast and big butts and hourglass shaped bodies in other words his personal heaven.

Soi Fon flashed to the entrance of the bathhouse and quickly entered and paid the fee. She Stripped the generic clothes that this Gigai came with and entered the Bathhouse and started to wash herself off "I wish Ichigo would wash me but he's always ogling that Kuchiki brat her boobs are almost as small as mine" she thought and then frowned she wanted Ichigo all to herself and she would have him.

Soi Fon finished washing her sleek supple body and headed for the open air bath when she saw a male shinigami there ogling women on the water "WHO ARE YOU!!!!" she yelled and Jumped in the hot water and swam over to him people were staring at her but she didn't care.

Isshin heard the yell and turned around "Oh Shit can she see me!" he thought "No only captain level people can see me," so he went back to watching when he felt a tug on his haori "Fuck she can see me," he dropped the haori and started to run.

"You aren't getting away!" Soi Fon yelled as she jumped out of the bath Soi Fon tried to get out of her Gigai but then Remembered that this was on loan from Kisuke and she never wanted to get on the bad side of that man but she had the haori which was odd because only Soul Society royalty and the captains of the Gotei 13 could wear haori; could he have been a former captain "this will require further investigation and keep me from my Ichigo," Soi Fon frowned but knew duty came before love but that didn't mean she wanted to do her duty she went back and got dressed and flashed back to Urahara's shop to pick up some clothes and inquire as to the identity of the mysterious haori wearing shinigami.

Isshin quickly flashed to Urahara's shop as fast as he could "Kisuke is my gigai ready yet?"

Kisuke came out of his shop "Yes we finished it early why Isshin?"

"I need it now there's a captain class person and they caught me peeping at the bathhouse," Isshin said in a huff.

"Tessai can you bring out Isshin's gigai?" Kisuke shouted into his shop.

"Here it is sir," Tessai said as he stepped out of the shop with Isshin's gigai draped over his shoulder and then he leaned it against the wall.

"Thanks again Kisuke it feels lighter in here" said Isshin after he hopped in the gigai.

"Yes that's one of the new features we've put in your gigai," said Kisuke nonchalantly.

"That's nice Kisuke but I gotta run you never saw me by the way," said Isshin as he walked back into the street and blended into the crowd seamlessly and made his way home.

Soi Fon reached Urahara's shop clean as a whistle and smelled like lavender and cocoa butter. "Urahara are you here I'm here to return the gigai and get a clean set of clothes" She yelled urgently needing to get the rogue shinigami's haori back to the Soul Society and analyzed by the 12th division and then after he's caught she'll be able to spend time with her Ichigo she started to drool and didn't notice that Kisuke had snuck up behind her and yelled "HELLO!!!"

Soi Fon did a front flip and landed facing Kisuke in cat stance ready to kill "Kisuke you bastard never sneak up on me NEVER!!!"

"Ha ha ha sorry Soi Fon I couldn't help myself," Kisuke exclaimed "it's just how many chances will I get to surprise Soi Fon Captain of the 2nd division in the Gotei 13"

"Yeah, yeah laugh it off and bring me the clothes I ordered" Soi Fon said now pissed off and anxious to report on the mysterious haori.

"Here they are," Kisuke said as he pulled out an exact copy of her usual clothes "All I need you to do is give me back my gigai and our transactions will be complete"

"Okay" said Soi Fon as she tried to get out of the gigai "I can't seem to get out of this damn gigai Kisuke can I get a little help."

"Sure," said Kisuke as he jabbed the gigai with the butt end of his cane, nothing happened

"Strange very strange," said Kisuke "Soi Fon come with me to my lab I need to run some tests to see why you can't get out of my gigai."

"Fine" said Soi Fon as she followed Kisuke into his shop and down into the lab.

"Now strip and get onto the examination table" Kisuke pointed to the metal table in the center of the room and started turning on the master computer and other instruments.

Soi Fon stripped the gigai and laid down on the table her breast seem to jiggle a lot even when lying down "the quicker I can get out of this body the better" she thought. Kisuke attached nodes to her nipples her forehead on her neck and her belly.

"I feel like a pin cushion Kisuke let's get on with the tests," Soi Fon complained.

"Just one more," said Kisuke as he took out an 8 inch dildo like node and lubed it up "you're gonna feel a slight pinch with this one" as he gently inserted it in her anus.

"OWWWWWWWW!!!" Yelled Soi Fon as the anal probe made its slow painful descent into her anal cavity "why is there always one for the ass?" She yelled.

"Because anal probes are the ones that give us the most information," said Kisuke "And because we take pictures of the peoples faces when they get them and sell them on E-bay," He said under his breath.

"What was that Kisuke," Soi Fon Exclaimed.

"Because they give us the most information," Said Kisuke quickly.

"That's what I thought you said."

"Let's get started then" Said Kisuke as he started running the exam on the host and gigai.

"Temperature: normal, spirit energy: nominal, body functions: 99.95%, hormone levels: slightly elevated," Kisuke went on saying things for what seemed liked forever "well we're done here" as he started taking off the nodes and pulled the anal probe out and placed them in a tray.

"So what's the prognosis Kisuke?" Soi Fon said while rubbing her ass cheeks.

"Well how do I put this Soi Fon… you're spirit body is fusing with this gigai I'm not sure why but basically you're spirit body features like your face and figure are molding themselves onto the gigai" said Kisuke.

"Is there anyway to reverse it?" said a worried Soi Fon "How will I go back to the Soul Society in this body?"

"No not unless you wanna be a mindless meat puppet for the rest of your life," said Kisuke "and as for going back to the Soul Society we can use a reishi converter and convert the gigai into a spirit body"

"What would have caused this?"

"It could be any one of many different things, stress, euphoria, extreme anger, the list goes on"

"Kisuke you bastard you knew this was gonna happen you two faced mother fucker" She yelled and grabbed Kisuke and held him against the wall "give me 1 good reason why I should let you live?"

"Because I can fix this given some time," said a panicky Kisuke.

"You better or I'll make Kisuke shish kabob's out of you," she said as she let him down "now we need to contact the Soul Society so I can talk to them about this" as she held up Isshin's haori "I need to find out to whom this belongs to and bring them in for questioning."

"That's Isshin's haori," thought Kisuke as he rubbed his chin hairs "I've never seen it before in my life, well let's go to the communicator room," he said as he started to walk out of the lab and up to the communicator room.

When they reached the communicator room Tessai was already there tuning the instruments to the Soul Society's frequencies and drinking some oolong "We have an uplink to the Soul Society sir."

"Good patch us through to the old man Tessai" said Kisuke nonchalantly.

The big screen communicator turned on the signal was strong an old bald man with a big ass white beard and a wooden walking stick appeared on the screen "This had better be good Kisuke my time is very valuable" he said as he raised an eyebrow "who is this young lady your new lab assistant? Nice rack on her she's a keeper."

Soi Fon stepped in front of Kisuke "Captain Soi Fon reporting in sir."

Yamamoto chuckled "and she has a sense of humor to boot Kisuke you can really pick them and I bet she shags like a minx."

"No Yamamoto this Soi Fon there was an accident with a gigai and now she's stuck in it but slowly she'll start looking like the Soi Fon we all know and love; but these," he said as he groped her breast "are here to stay but now I have to build a new adult body for Ururu" he said playfully.

"My condolences Kisuke and Soi Fon now is this all that you've called me for?" said Yamamoto in a stern tone.

"No," said Soi Fon taking out Isshin's haori "I found a rogue shinigami with a haori sir"

"That is most disturbing Soi Fon most disturbing indeed we'll need to analyze the haori for spirit particulates in the mean time we'll need you to scout the area incase he comes back," stated Yamamoto.

"But what about Ichigo Kurosaki sir?" said Soi Fon.

"The substitute shinigami Ichigo Kurosaki is not to get involved with Soul Society matters you know that Soi Fon" Yamamoto said sternly.

"Yes sir I'll send the haori through Kisuke, Soi Fon out," she said as she gave the haori to Kisuke "You know what to do Kisuke."

Kisuke turned off the communicator and took the haori "okay I'll just charge it to the Soul Society's tab," he said gleefully "and where will you be sleeping tonight Soi Fon?"

"In the safe house we set up in this town a few years back" said Soi Fon as she headed for the door.

"Oh yes I remember now I helped set it up," he said.

"Well Kisuke I guess I'll come here tomorrow to get some more clothes for this gigai."

"Okay see you tomorrow Soi Fon."

Soi Fon then flashed towards the shinigami safe house.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: I've heard of playing cat and mouse but cat and epileptic now you're just talking fish.

Disclaimer: I forgot to put this in chapter 1 I own nothing this is a work of fiction and I claim no rights to any of the characters or locations or anything else.

Isshin turned the block and saw the clinic he and Masaki made, the clinic where his 3 children Ichigo, Karin, and Yuzu were born in yes there were many happy memories at this clinic that he owned.

Isshin walked in the front door and took off his shoes and put on slippers "I'm home everyone!!" He shouted.

"Welcome home," yelled Yuzu from the kitchen "Dinner will be ready in 20 minutes"

"Okay Yuzu my wonderful daughter where are my other children by the way?" Isshin said as he entered the kitchen.

"Karin is playing soccer and Ichigo is out on a date with Rukia," replied Yuzu cheerfully.

"A date my ass those two are off fighting hollows somewhere like Ichigo could ever get a date with a girl from one of the four noble families" thought Isshin as he went to the bathroom and washed his face "and who was that girl that could see me I lowered my spirit down to a minuscule amount I need to lay low then," he thought as he dried his face off and went to the dining room and read the newspaper.

"Dad why don't you read it online it's free and easier to use," said Yuzu as she added some spices to the big cooking pot.

"Because I always read the newspaper my father read the newspaper and his

Father, well he couldn't read but if he could he would've read the newspaper too," said Isshin as he turned to the entertainment section.

Isshin heard a faint rustling coming from his room "I guess he woke up when I went into my shinigami form" Isshin thought as he headed up to his room and slid open the door, he walked in and turned towards the closet he opened it up and looked down there on the ground was a wooden box covered in seals that was shaking around. He picked up the box and opened it, inside the box there were even more seals and a wooden sword "Hello my old friend," said Isshin "did I wake you?"

The sword started to shimmer and a faint wispy shadow rose up "Isshin why the fuck did you wake me up? I was having such a wonderful dream." It said in a slithery tone.

"Sorry there I was having the gigai checked up and I needed to revert back to my old self," said Isshin as hey chuckled and scratched the back of his head.

"Well I'm hungry it's been over 20 years since you fed me Isshin," said the sword.

"20 years already eh?" said Isshin sarcastically "well I guess I should feed you tonight after dinner" as he took the sword out and swung it in the air a few times. "Lets get the cobwebs off shall we?"

"Yes let's," said the Sword.

Soi Fon reached the door to the shinigami safe house and opened it. The place was dark and dusty; Soi Fon turned on the light and looked around the room. There was a fridge in the corner in it was some moldy bread and some milk which looked more like yogurt than milk "I need to go food shopping" thought Soi Fon. In the other corner there was a metal cot with a pillow and white sheets there was a desk next to it with a Victorian style lamp and a halogen bulb in it, in the opposite corner there was a rusty green range oven combo with a sign on it that read -- out of order – "great I need to fix that as well, I guess a woman's work is never done sigh" she muttered. In the last corner she saw a door that led to a bathroom and shower stall on the left and a communications room on the right. "Waah, no bath tub?" thought Soi Fon "I guess I'll be visiting the Bathhouses more often."

"Bring bring, bring bring" went the Communications screen; Soi Fon went in there and turn the communicator on "Soi Fon here," she said.

Captain Yamamoto appeared on the screen "greetings Soi Fon," he said with his squinty eyes "I have come with your orders regarding the shinigami and haori you discovered earlier today"

"Yes sir," said Soi Fon as she assumed the "at attention" pose awkwardly with her new unfamiliar gigai.

"First of all the name of the shinigami is Isshin Shiba of the Shiba clan" said Yamamoto "he is a SS class criminal and is not to be taken lightly Soi Fon I suggest you ask Kisuke Urahara or Yoruichi Shihoin."

"I think I can handle him on my own," said Soi Fon "so what are his crimes?"

"Isshin is accused of numerous crimes including but not limited to: desertion, stealing Soul Society secret documents, mass murder, inebriated while on duty, conspiracy, instigating a riot, attacking civilians unprovoked, possession of illegal substances, jay walking," said Yamamoto reading off a list.

"What about the haori?" said Soi Fon even more interested now.

"He has one because of his former position and his noble heritage."

"And his former position was?" she said impatiently and tapping her foot.

"Isshin Kurosaki's former position was captain of squad zero."

Squad zero also known as the royal families bodyguards and chosen from the captains the number of them or who they are is unknown to most people. A single one of them could take on a Vastrode lorde on and barely break a sweat, to be the captain of them you would have to be one of the most powerful shinigami in existence all of this flashed through Soi Fon's mind in an instant; but she wasn't scared because she loved a challenge if she captured him her status would greatly increase and the perks that would come along with it. "You can count on me sir," she said.

"One more thing Soi Fon, Isshin can make the source of his reiatsu in multiple places making him hard to track down so I had squad twelve make this special tracker that will accurately find and trace Isshin's reiatsu," he said holding a device with a radar on it "you can pick it up at Kisuke's shop tomorrow."

"Understood sir," said Soi Fon as she saluted her big breast jiggled up and down,

"And Soi Fon," he said.

"Yes sir?"

"Be careful," he said in a caring voice.

"I always am sir," Soi Fon said turning off the communicator "Now to go food shopping."

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After dinner, which consisted of chicken curry, rice, and sake; Isshin headed up to his room and cast a kidou spell that made it seem like he was in the room and even gave off his unique reiatsu signature, then he took out his sword and said "ready partner?"

"Always," replied his sword eagerly awaiting its meal with much enthusiasm.

"Alrighty then," said Isshin as he silently opened the window and stepped out.

Isshin closed the window quietly and jumped of the roof and flew into the air. Once he was high enough in the air he stopped and stood up their "now to make sure Ichigo and Rukia don't even go out tonight," he said as he cast another kidou spell that blocked all reiatsu signals from penetrating his house "there now on to tonight's festivities," as he rubbed his hands together; then he flashed to the city.

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Soi Fon decided to walk back to the safe house from the gas station to enjoy the scenery. "This city is nice," she said to herself as she held a bag of food in her right arm.

Suddenly she picked up a faint shinigami reiatsu "that feels like Isshin's reiatsu," she said as she flashed to the safe house and deposited the food in the fridge and headed out towards Isshin, she licked her lips in anticipation for her new prey.

She traced the reiatsu to a love hotel in the red light district. She looked in one of the windows inside there was an Asian male fucking a skinny busty blonde from Europe. Soi Fon's faced turned a bright red, she should be looking for Isshin not looking at this smut but something about it just drew her attention as she turned back and continued to watch.

"Oh Maede, Maede," Screamed the blonde as she had an orgasm while riding the man's penis.

"Fuck yeah Kristine," the man yelled as he came in her "Let's do it again."

By this point Soi Fon's left hand had made its way into Soi Fon's pant and moved her panties aside to slowly start moving in and out of her vagina. Soi Fon moaned out loud and thought "This gigai has a mind of it's own."

The two people in the room stopped fucking and looked out the window "Oh, fuck we've been made," said the man as he jumped out of the bed.

"You can take her without my help," the woman said as she laid back on the bad and started to play with her pussy "I'll be waiting for you tiger," then she moaned and winked at the man.

"I know you will be," the naked man started walking towards the pile of clothes and put on some boxers then he nonchalantly made his way towards the window.

"Oh shit do they see me," thought Soi Fon as she quickly took her hand out of her pants and backed jumped up onto the roof and took a fighting position.

"Why do they always run?" said the man as he opened the window and looked up. "That's about a 15m jump," he thought as the man jumped onto the roof as well.

"Who are you?" said Soi Fon "because you're clearly not an ordinary human."

"True but neither are you Mrs. Shinigami," he said in a laid back manner.

"Identify yourself or else," said Soi Fon as she raised her voice.

"Make me," he said as a grin formed on his face.

Soi Fon rushed at hi and attempted to punch him in the face, he pivoted on his left foot and it missed. Then she kicked him with her left foot, he caught her foot then pulled her over his body and slammed her onto the roof tiling. Soi Fon got up and quickly jumped back. Then she said "Captain Soi Fon requesting permission to remove limiter"

"Processing," said a voice into Soi Fon's ear. "Great now I just need to stall," she thought as she rushed towards him again with a barrage of punches.

"Stalling for time eh?" the man said as he dodged all the punches gracefully and returned them with his own barrage of punches.

Soi Fon dodged most of them but was hit a few times in non vital places and did a back flip away from the man and returned to a fighting pose "come on, come on" she said impatiently.

"At least make this fun for me" said the man as he shunpoed behind her and quickly groped her boobs "mmmm these are 36 EE's if I'm not mistaken"

Soi Fon tried to elbow him but he shunpoed back into his original position, that's when Soi Fon realized besides when he groped her he hadn't moved from his original position since they started fighting. "Is he mocking me?" thought Soi Fon angered and humiliated, "that bastard I'll tear out his entrails and make them into macaroni art then I'll make him watch as I feed the leftovers to under privileged youths who might become gang members on Detroit's south side." Just then she heard a voice in her ear "Soi Fon limit removal has been approved"

"Perfect," she thought as she said "release the Limit!" then a bright light enveloped her for a second as her limiter was removed. Immediately she flashed towards behind him and threw a punch square at his neck, it connected and the man collapsed.

Soi Fon turned around and started to walk away when not even a few paces into her stride she heard "ouch that hurts!" She turned around and saw a shinigami coming out of the unconscious man "I guess a normal human body can't react to those speeds," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Soi Fon looked at the man's face; it was Isshin Shiba. "Isshin Shiba you are hereby under arrest and are to be held in my custody until such time as you can be transferred to the Soul Society for a trial with central 46," Soi Fon said in an authoritative tone.

"Oh, Mrs. High and mighty over here thinks she can take me in," he said in a haughty voice and struck an Ee ji kim yiu ma stance.

"You know Hung kar?" said Soi Fon as she moved into the beginning pose of the Chinto kata.

"Oh, you're using Isshin-Ryu be still my heart," he said in a sarcastic tone.

"Just shut up and come with me peacefully," she said as she flashed behind him again and performed a low sweeping kick to the ankles.

Isshin jumped up and did a back kick at her face "Make me," he said and then stuck his tongue out at her.

Before his kick could connect Soi Fon flashed back to a safe distance and took her zanpakuto out (Lucky for her Kisuke made some adjustments so that she could use her zanpakuto in this gigai) and said, "Sting all Enemies to death Suzumebachi" and released her shikai.

"Oh you're bringing out your shikai I'm flattered," Isshin said as took a step back "then perhaps I should fight with a zanpakuto. You can come up here now!!" He yelled.

"What? But there's no one else but us here," said Soi Fon when she saw the nude blonde jump up onto the rooftop "The slutty dumb blond is your zanpakuto?"

"Not exactly," said Isshin "You can come out now I'm gonna fight with you."

"Oh poo, and I was liking this body all nice and warm inside," said the blond as a wooden sword hilt emerged from her abdomen.

Isshin put his right hand on the top of the hilt and pulled it out. As soon as the sword was all the way out the blond regained consciousness "What? Where am I…." she said as Isshin hit her in the neck and knocked her out then laid her gently on the rooftop, then turned towards Soi Fon and did the kendo stance.

The two stood there for a while the mental battle between them had already begun. "If he comes from the left I'll use shunpo, if he comes from behind I'll use an instep on him," thought Soi Fon.

"If I get beef on the way home Yuzu will make chili and then I'll have to monopolize the toilet, but if I bring shrimp home she'll make shrimp curry and I'll have to monopolize the sink hmm. I got it I'll bring home chicken that way she'll make buffalo wings and I'll have to monopolize the napkins," thought Isshin as he smiled and licked his lips.

"Are you thinking about how deliciously disgusting prison food is in the Soul Society maximum security prison?" Soi Fon said slyly.

"No, I was thinking about how good it would be to motorboat your breasts," said Isshin as he made a squeezing motion with his left hand.

"You mother fucking pervert!" Yelled Soi Fon "and where do you get off using living peoples bodies for sex with your fucking sword that's just plain wrong."

"My sword needs to feed on the sexual energy released during the female orgasm every so many years; it's not that big a deal and the humans never know about it they ust think it was a wild dream they had, see no harm no foul. However that guy," he said as he pointed to the man he was previously possessing "is gonna be really sore in the morning thanks to you."

"That's just fucked up man what kind of zanpakuto needs sexual energy, I mean I bet your shikai is tentacles that secrete sex hormones and rapes hot girls in dark alleyways," Soi Fon said half jokingly and half disgusted.

"I wish my shikai was like that," exclaimed Isshin "that would be the best zanpakuto ever," he said like a little boy dreaming of the perfect toy he wanted.

Soi Fon had had enough of this she started to lunge at him when the sun started to rise "Oh that's my cue to leave" said Isshin as he flashed behind her and sensually groped her one more time "Let's do this again some time," he whispered into her ear and flashed away.

Soi Fon tried to sense where he was but was too startled from the groping to properly concentrate "Damn him and damn these big breast they've been nothing but a burden," said Soi Fon as she stomped her foot on the ground and scrunched her nose up. Then she heard a grumbling from her stomach and realized she hadn't eaten in over 16 hours "I guess I better head back to the safe house now," Soi Fon said to herself being very upset that her hunt would have to wait.

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When Soi Fon flashed back to the safe house the door was slightly ajar. Soi Fon entered with caution knowing someone had broken in, the lights were off so Soi Fon reached slowly for the light switch on the left and turned it to the on position. The lights in the whole safe house turned on and Soi Fon quickly scanned the place for the intruder, but they had already left then she noticed the cardboard box on the table with a sticky note on it. She walked over to the table and took the note of the box and read it.

It said "To my lovely big breasted captain, though you may not know where I am I'll always know where you are with my new pickle powered tracking device I got at Urohara's shop earlier and know it's unique so you can't find me :P. also I left some goodies to keep you occupied in all the spare time, which you'll have lots of trust me cause Ichigo kills all the hollows here and so there's nothing to do. –Isshin" as Soi Fon read the note she started to open the package then she stopped and turned red "That man has some fucking nerve sending me a vibrator," she said infuriatingly and went to the fridge to make Breakfast.

End of chapter Disclaimer: Also I claim no rights to Hung kar or Isshin-Ryu yes they really do exist and if you wanna know more about them you can look them up online.

also Please R&R it's always fun to see what people think of what you write.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Israel is calling swine flu Mexican flu because pigs are not kosher and the Pig farmers want the media to call swine flu either the H1N1 flu or the Hybrid flu. This thing has more names than James Bond has had lovers.

Disclaimer: I own nothing this is a work of fiction and I claim no rights to any of the characters or locations or anything else.

After Isshin made his little "delivery" at the shinigami safe house he flashed back to where he stored his gigai and went to the grocery story and picked up some raw chicken wings "mm, mm nothing like Yuzu's wasabi buffalo wings to get you motivated for the day," he said as he licked his lips and walked home.

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Earlier that night at the Kurosaki house:

"Ichigo is he asleep yet" said Rukia from her closet as she looked through some porn magazines.

"I think so," said Ichigo as he closed the door to his room all the way and put a padlock on it so they wouldn't be disturbed.

"Good," said Rukia as she slid open the closet door and took out her fairy princess costume and put it on "I am the fairy princess worship me," she said in a whimsical voice.

"Make me," said Ichigo as he pulled out his football gear and Detroit Lions jersey and put them on and shouted "Defense, hu hu, defense."

"Ready?" Said Rukia.

"Ready," said Ichigo.

"One!" Exclaimed Rukia.

"Two!" Shouted Ichigo.

"Three!!" They both yelled as they pulled out a Playstation 3 and plugged it into the 30inch television Rukia had installed in the closet.

Rukia turned the console on and the title screen popped up with the words "Rock-Paper-Scissors 3: Scissors of Doom"

"Let's start tonight's battle to who's on top while having sex!!" Said Ichigo as he picked up the game controller and sat down.

"I'm so going to be riding you hard tonight," said Rukia in a playfully devilish manner and picked up her controller and scrolled down to the multiplayer option and pressed the X button.

"Not if I'm pounding your pussy all night," retorted Ichigo as he chose his characters for there 3 vs. 3 battle.

"I choose Magmas Prime, Sheep Sheers, and Printing Paper," said Rukia triumphantly.

"Well I have Papyrus Paper, Safety Scissors, and Igneous Rock," said Ichigo in a haughty tone.

"Let's do this!" Exclaimed Ichigo as he pressed the start button.

"Yes let's," said Rukia as she waited for the battle to start.

"Rock," said Ichigo in a normal tone.

"Paper," Rukia said in a louder tone.

"Scissors!" They yelled.

"Round one, fight!" Said the male voice from the game.

"Let's go!" Exclaimed Ichigo as they started the battle.

They fought in the Soul Society's favorite game; used to settle most disputes there after it's two Predecessors Rock-Paper-Scissors: Rampaging Rocks and Rock-Paper-Scissors 2: Paper Cut Peril topped they charts each selling over 100,000,000 copies on their first weekends each.

In the end Rukia won and immediately tackled Ichigo and started kissing him "I guess I'm on top tonight," she said playfully.

"Lucky you," said Ichigo as he kissed back and took off Rukia's fairy princess costume.

"I'm going fuck your brains out," said Rukia anticipating the night of pleasure that was yet to come.

--------------------------

"Well I'll be damned," said Isshin as he spied in on Ichigo's window on his way into the house "That boy is getting ridden like a bull at a rodeo," as he heard Rukia orgasm while riding on Ichigo's erect penis "I'm going to have to give that boy a raise so he can buy some decent condoms; cause I don't wanna be a grandparent yet."

Isshin passed through the wall back into his room and went the closet and retrieved his gigai and stepped back into it, and then he took his zanpakuto back to his bed and said "did you get your fill tonight?"

"No, that stupid milk cow of a soul reaper interrupted my meal midway, so we need to go out again soon," Hissed the sword.

"No, we're laying low for awhile or else we're gonna have to fight again," Said Isshin stoically.

"Fine, but no anal sex then," exclaimed the sword in what could only be described as a pouting voice.

"So we're trying to get your host pregnant this time?" said Isshin sarcastically as he raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, or I could possess a pregnant woman this time; it's been ages since you fucked a pregnant lady Isshin."

"There's a good reason for that," said Isshin grimacing "last time I fucked a pregnant lady was twelve years ago when Masaki was pregnant with Yuzu and Karin and she couldn't stop Queefing it was disgusting."

"Oh how could I forget that," chuckled the sword "if I was a human or had a mouth I would have thrown up for six weeks and eight day."

"Isn't that seven weeks and one day?" Said Isshin quizzically.

"No it's six weeks and eight days because I don't believe in the number seven," retorted the sword.

"Really now?" Said Isshin sarcastically as he walked over to his dresser and got out his blue pin striped pajama bottoms and took off his clothes.

"Is it just me or is your gigai's penis bigger?" Cooed the sword.

Isshin looked down "holy shit!! What the hell did Kisuke do to my wedding tackle?" as he stared at his now nine inch non erect penis.

"If it's that big now I can't wait to see it at attention." Chuckled the sword.

"Shut up, damn that Kisuke if it's over thirteen inches no women will want it in them," Isshin said madly as he put on his pajama bottoms and headed back to bed.

"Well I personally wouldn't mind riding on that," Cooed the sword seductively.

"That's not happening any time soon, now I'm going to sleep; now good night," Isshin said as he turned off the light and got into bed.

"Good night my gentle prince," thought the sword.

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The next morning Soi Fon woke up at 9:16am and went back to sleep until 9:30am when her alarm went off and she threw it against the wall which broke it into millions of sand like particles.

"Damn it, another thing to add to my expense report," exclaimed Soi Fon grumpily as she got out of the cot only wearing the new matching white cotton bra and panties she had to buy last night because of her new overly proportioned gigai "these boobs are too fucking big I look like one of those bimbo milk cows like Matsumoto, or Orihime."

Soi Fon went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth and did other things that this fiction will not go into, next she got the broom and dustpan and cleaned up the dust particles that was once an alarm clock and dumped them in the newly purchased waste basket set up next to the desk. Then she went into the kitchen and had had some cold cereal and milk with a glass of water to wash it down, how she wished for hot food; but with the stove and range broken plus the unhealthiness of fast food she couldn't eat it. No she would have to live with cold food for now.

After breakfast Soi Fon went to the communication's room and contacted captain commander Yamamoto and reported the previous nights events to him including Isshin's little present.

Yamamoto stared stoically for a few seconds and then said, "What are your conclusions on this matter captain Soi Fon?"

"I believe he's toying with us sir, I don't think he takes us seriously," replied Soi Fon in a grudging tone "I'll make him take me seriously then catch him and make it so he never sees the light of day ever again."

"Soi Fon I think it is you that are taking him too lightly let me tell you more about Isshin Shiba. Isshin is the only person to never be a captain before becoming part of squad zero, and he wasn't a captain because he couldn't pass the test or anything he wasn't a captain because he had no motivation, Isshin became vice captain of the sixth squad 6 months after joining the thirteen court guard and achieved ban kai less than a year after that, he would have been recommended next time a position opened but the man was lazier than Kyoraku and had no one that could order him around. I remember his former captain Ginrei Kuchiki telling me 'Isshin has the power to take on two Vastrode lordes by himself but he has the motivation of a cow set out to pasture.' Isshin stayed a vice captain for forty more years until the basket affair after which he was immediately placed in squad zero, after that little is known about him except he became captain of it 5 years after he joined and then defected 300 years later during the Hollowfication experiment trials along with Yoruichi Shihoin and Kisuke Urahara," said Yamamoto as if recited word for word from a book.

"He was part of sixth squad? Then why didn't they swarmed the city when I reported finding him?" said Soi Fon now pissed off that Kuchiki wasn't here instead of her.

"Because the only people that know that Isshin's been spotted is me and you, we can not have a mad rush for his head by every member of the sixth, eleventh, and zero squads Soi Fon this must be kept quiet until he's caught and tried; do you understand?" Yamamoto said in a serious tone.

"Yes sir, what about Ichigo and Rukia though? What if they discover Isshin while out hunting for hollows?" She stated quizzically.

"If Ichigo and Rukia find out you will give them the bear minimum information required for them to understand the situation and tell them not to tell anyone and to go about their business," Yamamoto said as he picked up a cup of tea and took a sip.

"Understood sir, anything else?"

"No, Soi Fon that is all. Ending transmission," Yamamoto said as the screen went blank.

"Great," muttered Soi Fon "I'm alone here hunting a pervert with no chance of support and a crappy base of operations, the mission has just had one snag in it after another."

Soi Fon left the communication's room and headed for the desk and took out some paper and started writing down strategies for finding and capturing Isshin Shiba as well as her long overdue vacation that she would take after this was all over.

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Two weeks later

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Ichigo woke up to the sound of his alarm clock and yawned and looked next to him to see a sleeping Rukia clinging to his body after she stole all the covers on his side of the bed "time to get up sleeping beauty," whispered Ichigo into Rukia's ears.

"Five more minutes," mumbled Rukia as she turned and faced the other side.

"Come on Rukia we have to get ready for school," exclaimed Ichigo as he pulled the covers off her to reveal her slim nude body.

"Give me back the blanket Ichigo," grumbled Rukia as she hit Ichigo with a pillow playfully.

"No you get out bed Rukia," said Ichigo as he got out of bed and went over to his dresser and got out his school uniform and started to put them on.

Rukia yawn and sat up in bed "you go downstairs and get breakfast I'll be down in a minute," she mumbled.

"Fine but if you're not down by the time I've finished breakfast, I'm going to come up and get ya," said Ichigo playfully as he went out the door and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

When Ichigo entered the kitchen he saw Yuzu, Karin, and Isshin all sitting down at the table having miso soup and white rice.

"Morning Ichigo," said Yuzu as she got up and poured him a of soup and scooped some white rice into a bowl "here's your breakfast."

"Thanks Yuzu," said Ichigo as he took both bowls and sat down at the table then he took the bottle of soy sauce and poured a little on his rice then pick up some chopsticks "time to eat."

"Ichigo is a slow eater, and when I say slow I mean you can call turtles fast compared to his eating speed," said Isshin teasingly.

"Shut up old man," Exclaimed Ichigo as he kicked him in the face "I just like to savor my food."

"Sure you do," said Isshin as if reading from a script as he rolled his eyes.

"They're at it again," said Karin in a droll voice.

"Let them," said Yuzu in her cheery voice "it's just male bonding and I think it's cute."

"Yuzu you think everything is cute," said Karin as she watched her dad and brother fight like children.

"That's cause everything is cute silly," replied Yuzu happily.

About half an hour later Ichigo sat down at the table again covered in scrapes and bruises from the fight "Great! Now my breakfast is cold, thanks a lot old man," yelled Ichigo.

"Suck it up, a little cold rice and cold miso never killed anyone," retorted Isshin as he sat down and finished his bowl of rice.

"I know old man," said a pissed off Ichigo as he started to gobble down the now cold white rice and miso.

About ten minutes later Ichigo finished "thanks for the meal Yuzu, now I gotta go get Rukia before we're late for school," as he got up and headed upstairs and into his room.

"Aye Rukia time to go," said Ichigo as he entered his room and saw Rukia huddled in the corner.

"Ichigo I'm late," cried Rukia.

"No you aren't if we hurry we can still make the first bell," said Ichigo trying to cheer her up.

"No Ichigo I'm late late," said Rukia still crying her eyes out.

"Huh?" Ichigo said with a confused face.

"I'm Pregnant you idiot!" Yelled Rukia as she went back to crying.

"Are you sure?" said a disbelieving Ichigo.

"Yes I'm sure," exclaimed Rukia as she held up six pregnancy tests.

Ichigo walked over to Rukia and took the pregnancy tests and read them out loud "Positive, positive, inconclusive, positive, positive, and positive; yep looks like your pregnant Rukia but you should go to a doctor to confirm it."

"You'll come with me right?" Said Rukia looking up at him.

"Yep looks like your pregnant Rukia but you should go to a doctor to confirm it," said Ichigo again.

"Uh, Ichigo you already said that," said Rukia as she raised an eyebrow.

"Yep looks like your pregnant Rukia but you should go to a doctor to confirm it," said Ichigo for the third time.

"Hello, Ichigo? Anyone home?" Said Rukia as she stood up and waved her hand in front of his eyes.

"Yep looks like your pregnant Rukia but you should go to a doctor to confirm it."

Replied the now statuesque Ichigo.

Rukia lightly pushed Ichigo's shoulder and he fell over on his back. "God damn it Ichigo why can't you be more manly I mean come on fainting on me when I need you most," she said as she took out a black sharpie marker and smiled evilly and pounced on Ichigo "I'll show you what happens when you pass out on me Ichigo!" She exclaimed as she took the cap off the sharpie.

**Warning the following drawings done on Ichigo's face were deemed so vile, that by law I'm not allowed to describe the process in which they were drawn thank you, and now back to the fanfic.**

"There, I'm done," said Rukia devilishly as she put the cap back on the marker and stood up.

"What's with all the ruckus up there?" Shouted Isshin up the stairs.

"Nothing, I'm just pregnant and your son fainted," Yelled back Rukia.

Isshin came upstairs and walked into the room "Yeah he tends to do that… What!! Pregnant!" Isshin stood there dumbfounded with a look on his face that can only be described by the phrase 'What the fuck!!'

"Hey are you just gonna stand there and let the mother of your grandchild lift something heavy all by herself or are you gonna help me!" Said Rukia as she walked over and smacked Isshin in the back of the head.

"Yes, of course I'll help," said Isshin as he moved over to Ichigo's feet "what did you do to his face? It looks like a two year old threw up black soy beans on him then used the throw up as finger paints with his face as a canvas."

"He got what he deserved, and you'll get it too if you don't help me lift his body onto the bed," she said as she moved over to his shoulders and bent down and grabbed his shoulders.

Isshin bent down and grabbed Ichigo's legs "we lift him up and onto the bed on three." Isshin said to Rukia.

"Okay, ready?" Said Rukia as she prepared to lift Ichigo.

"Ready," said Isshin as he tried to dig his feet into the floor.

"Three!" Shouted Rukia and they lifted the unconscious Ichigo onto the bed.

"So Rukia you need to come downstairs and eat some breakfast while we wait for sleeping beauty over there to wake up," said Isshin as he held open the door.

"I would be delighted," said Rukia merrily as she headed out of the room and down the stairs for her breakfast for two.

I hope you enjoyed chapter three please Read & Review because it's always nice to see what people think of your work.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Lions and tigers and bears oh what the fuck is this The Wizard of Oz?

Disclaimer: I own nothing this is a work of fiction and I claim no rights to any of the characters or locations or anything else.

Ichigo woke up and opened his eyes. It was dark in his room and the shade was closed and the door was closed. "What happened?" said Ichigo quietly as he sat up in his bed.

As Ichigo became more aware of his surroundings he remembered what happened in the morning and how he was now the father of Rukia's unborn child. 'I should talk to her' thought Ichigo as he headed out of his room. When he left his room he had to shield his eyes and squinted as the phosphorescent hallway lights hit his unadjusted eyes as he clumsily walked towards the stairs "Hello?" He shouted down the stairs as he meandered down them.

"Oh you're finally awake Ichigo, it's almost 10PM," said Rukia as she reclined in a chair and was sipping on a cup of water.

"Hey Rukia sorry I was asleep all day, so what happened to my old man?" he asked as he stepped off the last step, his eyes fully adjusted to the light now he calmly walked over to Rukia and sat in the chair next to her.

"He's been in the toilet all night," chuckled Rukia as she took another sip of water from her glass and then set it on a coaster on the small table that was in front of them.

"Yuzu made beef chili tonight, didn't she?" Said Ichigo as he started to laugh as well "when will he ever learn?"

Rukia chuckled again "You know Ichigo…" she trailed off in her sentence.

"Yeah I know," said Ichigo now taking a more serious tone.

"How about we say what we think on three?" Suggested Rukia.

"Sounds like a plan," replied Ichigo nervously.

"Three!" They both exclaimed together.

"I want us to keep the baby," said Ichigo.

"I told my brother," said Rukia.

"You told your what!" Yelled Ichigo who now had a face that mirrored his fathers earlier this morning when Isshin found out that Rukia was pregnant.

"Well he would have found out sooner or later Ichigo," stated Rukia in an annoyed tone.

"Yeah, but not for a few months in which I was planning to a super thick armor out of pillows around the house to protect me from him and then I was gonna grow a mustache and change my name to Lee Chang and move to China because you can never find anyone in China," said Ichigo proudly as the crossed his arms smiled and nodded thinking that his plan was full proof.

"Ichigo he would have tracked you through your spiritual pressure," said Rukia as she rolled her eyes and thought 'this is the father of my unborn child.'

"Your words bounce off my pillows of fluffiness," said Ichigo in a matter of fact demeanor "anyways I'm hungry so I'm heading out for gas station meal because I'm ninety eight percent sure that the old man finished all the chili even though he knew he would get diarherria from it."

Ichigo got up from the chair leaned down and kissed Rukia on the cheek "we'll talk more about what we'll do when I get back, kay?"

"Okay," said Rukia who was slightly blushing from the kiss "but when you get back we really need to have a long and thorough conversation about this."

"Yes dear," Ichigo said in a half sarcastic voice.

"I'm serious Ichigo," she shouted as she stood up and shook her fist at him.

"I know, I know," replied Ichigo as he turned around and waved at her before opening the front door and walked into something.

"Ouch what's this," he said as he turned his face, which turned to horror as he saw Byakuya Kuchiki standing at the front door.

"And where do you think you're going Kurosaki?" Said Byakuya in his signature stoic monotone voice as he stood there looking down at Ichigo.

"Out… out to get some food," stuttered Ichigo who was about to shit his pants from imagining all the terrible things Byakuya could do to him for getting Rukia pregnant.

"That can wait," said Byakuya as he went into the close the door closed behind him and locked itself as if it were magic and he took off his shoes and made his way to the living room "Rukia put up a kettle and get some green tea for me."

"Yes Onii-chan," said Rukia quickly and got up and hurried into the kitchen to make him some tea, lest she make him angrier.

"Kurosaki get over here," Byakuya said giving Ichigo a death glare that would stop captain commander Yamamoto in his tracks.

"Y… yes sir," stuttered Ichigo nervously as he slowly walked towards the living room and felt like walking across a desert with no water in the middle of the day.

"We don't have all day boy, get your ass in here," stated Byakuya.

Ichigo picked up his pace and made it into the living room in one piece and sat in a chair directly across from Byakuya and felt like he was on trial and Byakuya was his judge, jury, and executioner.

"You know why I'm here boy," said Byakuya.

"Because you wanted to be the one that told me that Renji got the sex change operation?" said Ichigo nervously.

"Boy if you stop playing around then my sister is going to be a single mother," said Byakuya now annoyed.

Rukia walked back in the room with a tray that had a kettle of boiling water, some green teabags, three spoons, and three cups which were on three saucers "The tea is ready," she said as she placed the tray on the table between them and put a teabag in each cup and poured some water from the kettle then went and sat next to Ichigo.

Byakuya picked up a saucer and a spoon and dipped the teabag in the water a few times then took the bag out and took the spoon and stirred the tea a few times and took a sip 'damn it!! I burned my tongue but I looked cool so it was worth it' he thought as he placed the saucer back on the table. "Now boy, are you gonna take responsibility for what you've done?"

"I mean to be there for Rukia and our child if that's what you mean," stated Ichigo as he reached over and held on to Rukia's hand looking for strength.

"That's not enough boy," said Byakuya as he took another sip of tea "you're going to marry her or else I'll have your head on a pike."

"Marry her!" Exclaimed Ichigo "well the thought had crossed my mind after Rukia gave birth."

"No you will not have the child out of wedlock the wedding will be in a month so people don't get suspicious after Rukia starts showing," said Byakuya as if he had done this before "also boy you're going to be taking the Kuchiki name but only in title I still do not accept you as a true Kuchiki yet, but as of now Rukia's unborn child is the future heir of the Kuchiki family."

"I understand," said Ichigo knowing he had no choice in the matter " but is a month really enough time to plan a wedding?"

"It's plenty of time," said Rukia speaking up for the first time in awhile "but I want a western style wedding not the traditional Shinto wedding."

Byakuya and Rukia's stared at each other, their eyes clashed as if there was a silent battle going on between them. Finally they broke contact after what seemed like an eternity.

"Fine," said Byakuya grudgingly "I'll make the arrangements, but now I have other business I must attend to," as he finished off the tea and got up from his seat.

Ichigo and Rukia followed him to the door and saw him off with a smile and a wave then closed the door.

"Phew," said Ichigo as he wiped his brow "I thought he was going to scale and gut me like a fish, then cut the meat into pieces and make into sushi and then eat them."

"I thought he was going to chop off your head and stick it on a pike then take your body and have it raped by rabid dogs, next he would put it in a grinder and sell it as hamburger meat to your family," said Rukia jokingly.

"I'm going to chalk that up to the pregnancy Rukia," said a slightly freaked out Ichigo as he headed back towards the living room and made some tea with the now cold kettle water "care to join me?"

"I think I will," said Rukia who went and sat in the sofa as Ichigo offered her a cup of tea and sat down next to her as they sipped tea and cuddled for the rest of the night thinking about their future together.

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Isshin was finished shitting he felt as if his asshole was on fire when he sensed Byakuya come into the house 'I better stay in here or Byakuya might recognize me from his grandfathers old war stories' thought Isshin as he wiped his ass and closed the toilet. 'Man it smells in here' he thought as he pinched his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

When he felt Byakuya leave he flushed the toilet and washed his hands but the smell was too overwhelming and he threw up in the sink. 'That was good chili too bad I threw it up' he thought as he turned on the faucet and washed his face off with cold water and rinsed his mouth out with water.

He exited the bathroom and snuck back into his room closed the door behind him then changed into his pajamas and hopped into bed.

"Was that Byakuya's spirit I just felt?" Hissed the sword.

"Yeah he found out Rukia had a bun in the oven," replied Isshin playfully.

"Oh maybe we should take over Ichigo's and Rukia's and have some fun," said the sword jeeringly.

"Ewwww, that's wrong on so many levels just thinking about makes me wanna throw up again," said Isshin.

"Well how about we take over that Captains body and you can eat sushi off her," said the sword seductively.

"Hmm while that is tempting I'm gonna have to say no she's too dangerous if you lose control I might actually get my jugular ripped out and that's no fun," replied Isshin chuckling to himself.

"Do you think she's stronger than me?" said the sword in a somewhat annoyed voice.

"No, but if she catches you off guard she's strong enough to contain you and then I'd be in trouble," said Isshin.

"You're no fun Isshin, what if we take over Orihime's body and have some of that cow's breast milk," said the sword still toying around with the idea.

"That sounds good as long as her crazy appetite doesn't affect the taste," said Isshin now slightly serious.

"Good point, we can always bring chocolate syrup to make it into chocolate milk to counter the weird taste if there is any," suggested the sword.

"That's a good idea but what man should I take over?" replied Isshin.

"Good question, how about one of Ichigo's classmates," quipped the sword.

"Yes maybe Keigo, he would make a good host for me," laughed Isshin.

"So it's settled our next targets are Orihime and Keigo and we need to get chocolate syrup for the encounter," chimed the sword gleefully.

"Yes now I'm exhausted so I'm going to call it a night," said Isshin as he yawned then closed his eyes and went to sleep.

-------------------

Soi Fon heard a knock at the door 'I wonder who that could be seeing that only the captains know I'm here' she thought as she grabbed her sword and went to the door "who is it?" She asked.

"It's captain Kuchiki," said Byakuya from behind the door.

"Oh, Okay then one second," said Soi Fon as she unlatched the lock and opened the door "hello captain Kuchiki."

"Hello captain Soi Fon, may I come in?" said Byakuya stoically.

"Of course," said Soi Fon as she welcomed him in "May I inquire as to the nature of you visit?"

"You may," replied Byakuya as he took a seat at the desk.

"Well why are you here?" Asked Soi Fon.

"One of my informants has told me that Isshin Shiba has been found and that you are hunting him down, I have come to relieve you of that duty," said Byakuya as if his word was law.

"Under whose orders?" Said Soi Fon with a pissed off voice.

"My own," said Byakuya giving Soi Fon one of his famous death glares "it's the duty of the sixth squad to bring Isshin Shiba to justice so that we can regain the honor we lost long ago."

"No, captain commander Yamamoto ordered me to capture him so that is what I'm doing and neither you or anyone else will stop me," exclaimed Soi Fon.

"You will defer to me," said a pissed off Byakuya who was not used to people defying him.

"I will do no such thing," said the defiant Soi Fon now sitting on the cot.

The two argued for several more minutes, which ended in Soi Fon's victory. Byakuya stood up and headed for the door.

"You win this round Captain Soi Fon, but next time I'll have an order from the top and you will defer to me," he stated while walking out the door "also what's the mailing address for this place?"

"2384 Unagi rd. Kankura town," replied an angry Soi Fon "Why?"

"Oh just because there's a couple I know that are getting married in a month and they wanted to invite you, but with you not being in the Soul Society right now they were worried that you wouldn't even get the invitation much less come to the event," said Byakuya nonchalantly.

Soi Fon racked her mind trying to think of the engaged couples she knew and none came up 'maybe that idiot Kyoraku finally proposed to Nanao' she thought "is it captain Kyoraku's wedding by any chance?" She asked.

The ever stoic Byakuya burst out into laughter "That lummox getting married, ha ha ha that'll be the day," he continued to laugh for a minute or two and then regained his composure "any more insane guesses before I take my leave?"

"Could you just tell me?" Said a frustrated Soi Fon.

"Now where's the fun in that?" Chuckled Byakuya as he exited and closed the door behind him.

"What an infuriating man," said Soi Fon getting up from the cot "oh well I guess I'll have to go buy a nice dress soon."

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A tall man walked into an elaborate dining hall the aroma of lamb and steak filled the air, as he walked along the huge dining table the sounds of classical music and dancing could be heard and had a soothing effect but the man knew the news he had to deliver could not be soothed by any amount of music or food in the world. As he reached the end of the table he saw a man sitting there with a glass of white wine in his hand watching the dancing with a merry look on his face as he took a sip of the wine.

The man stopped about five feet away and took a knee bowed his head and put one arm across his chest "My lord forgive my intrusion," he said.

"Speak," said the man sitting in the chair as he took another sip of the wine.

"My lord," said the man on one knee "our informant in the sixth squad of the thirteen court guards has reported that Isshin Shiba has been confirmed as alive."

"What!" yelled the man as he crushed the glass with his bare hand in a fit of rage "stop the music!" He yelled.

The music stopped as an eerie silence filled the room. "Call Omage," said the man in the chair.

"Yes, my lord," said the man on one knee as he got up, bowed then exited the room quickly.

A minute later a shinigami with a lieutenants badge that had the Japanese symbol for zero on it Flashed in the room five feet away from the man in the chair. He got down on one knee and bowed his head "reporting on your leave my lord," he said stoically.

"Our old friend Shiba has turned up take care of him for me Omage," said the man in the chair.

"With pleasure my lord," said Omage with an evil grin on his face as he flashed out of the room.

"Things are about to get very interesting," said the man in the chair as he took the new glass of white wine that was brought to him.

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Yay two chapter in a few days please Read and review, and to quote DBZ "it's over 9000"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: A wedding, a wake, and worschire sauce, the three W's of economics

This chapter is dedicated to my beloved grandmother who passed away while I was writing this, she will be cherished in my heart forever.

Disclaimer: I own nothing this is a work of fiction and I claim no rights to any of the characters or locations or anything else.

It had been two days since Byakuya's visit when Ichigo and Rukia decided to tell the rest of the family about the wedding so after dinner they had everyone stay at the dining room table and they went to the head of it.

"Everyone we have an announcement to make," said Ichigo as he took Rukia's hand.

"You do?" said Yuzu in her hyper cheerful manner, as her eyes got big like a puppies.

"Yes, me and Ichigo are getting married," said Rukia as she moved closer to Ichigo.

"Married!" Exclaimed Yuzu, Karin, and Isshin simultaneously.

"Yes married, me and Rukia have decided to spend the rest of ours lives together," said Ichigo defiantly "have a problem with that?" He said looking at Isshin.

"You kids can do what you want as long as you can pay for it," Replied Isshin nonchalantly as he leaned back in his chair.

"Yay I get to wear a pretty dress," said Yuzu as her eyes lit up even more "is it a western wedding or a Shinto wedding?"

"It's going to be a western wedding," said Rukia joyously "I've never liked Shinto weddings."

"I can wear a suit then?" Asked Karin.

"Sure I guess Karin but that's not very ladylike," said Ichigo somewhat concerned.

"So when is the wedding?" Asked Yuzu, very curious as to when this joyous occasion would be celebrated.

"Um… about twenty six days from now," said Ichigo as he took his right hand and scratched the hair behind his head.

"Huh? Why so soon Ichigo you guys have lots of time before you graduate," said Isshin quizzically.

"That brings us to our second announcement," said Rukia as she placed her hand on her stomach "I'm pregnant," she said blushingly.

"Pregnant!" Yelled a surprised Karin, Yuzu, and Isshin.

Ichigo smacked Isshin on the head "you already knew she was pregnant so don't act surprised old man," he said angrily.

"I know but it's fun to act surprised," said Isshin as he stuck out his tongue at Ichigo.

"You're an ass old man," said Ichigo as he hit him again.

"By the way how are you paying for this wedding son?" asked Isshin.

"Oh one of Rukia's distant relatives said they'd make the arrangements and pay for it as long as I took Rukia's last name," half lied Ichigo "isn't that right Rukia."

"Huh? Oh yes a distant relative said they pay for it," said Rukia half lying as well.

"Okay, as long as it isn't coming out of my pocket I'm fine with it," restated Isshin.

"You're so cheap old man," said Ichigo pissed off at his fathers misery.

"What weddings are expensive and we're in a recession right now," said Isshin defending his position.

"So since the wedding is less than a month away it's going to be small right?" inquired Yuzu.

"Um, probably just our family, Rukia's family, and a few close friends like Orihime and Tatsuki," said Ichigo just thinking about it for the first time "right Rukia?"

"Yes I believe so, I'll have to ask my broth… I mean distant relative but I believe that'll be the case," said Rukia not to sure of herself "me and Ichigo will need to make a list though so we can send out the invitations."

"Ichigo me and you will look for a tuxedo next week, and you should get a haircut two weeks before so you look presentable on the big day," said Isshin stoically.

"Why two weeks for the haircut?" asked Ichigo.

"That way your hair can grow out a bit and look nice," explained Karin surprisingly.

"Oh, I see," said Ichigo amazed at his sister's insight.

"Well that covers all of our news," said Rukia "any one have anything to add?"

"I do," said Isshin "I'll be heading out of the country for awhile some urgent business with an old friend of mine has come up and I have to help him."

Everyone just stared there for a moment for no reason as they contemplated Isshin's trip finally Rukia said, "When will you be back?"

"I'm not sure but I'm leaving tomorrow days," said Isshin as he left the table without a second glance back.

Everyone at the table just sat there dumbfounded. "Since when does dad have friends?" asked Karin.

"Beats me I didn't even know other people besides us would talk to the old man," said Ichigo as he went and sat back down.

"I guess we can ask him when's he's off guard and see if he'll spill it," said Rukia taking the seat next to Ichigo.

"I guess we'll leave it at that then," said Yuzu as she went and started to clean up dinner.

------------

Mayuri entered the meeting room and took his place in line with his fellow captains at the monthly captains meeting, as he took his place he noticed that captain Hitsugaya was walking with a slight limp, which he mentally noted for further investigation later after the meeting for a captain limping was something one did not see everyday. He saw captain Kuchiki looking slightly mad, which was very interesting, he'd have to interrogate some of the sixth squad to see what could make the ever stoic captain lose his cool. Captain-commander Yamamoto strode in with the usual air of confidence and control surrounding him "This meeting of the thirteen court guard captains is here by call to order, we will now call roll and read the last meetings minutes," he said with an air of authority like no other.

After calling roll and reading the minutes, which were so boring that the author of this fanfic fell into a coma for 3 weeks from reading them so it was decided that they shall not be written again to save readers from comas Yamamoto said "any old business?"

Captain Kyoraku stepped forward "I motion to bring up last weeks discussion of lieutenant Hisagi's eligibility to become captain of the ninth squad," He said very formally.

"Is the motion seconded?" Asked Yamamoto.

There was a brief pause in the room, and then captain Unohana raised her right hand "Seconded," she said gently.

"Any objections?" inquired Yamamoto.

"I object, on the grounds that Hisagi's is not able to pass the trash test and will not get the recommendation and approval needed," said Byakuya nonchalantly.

"Let's put it to a vote then," retorted Kyoraku.

"Seconded," said captain Hitsugaya with an annoyed look on his face.

"Any objections?" Asked Yamamoto.

Everyone was silent signaling there were no objections "Okay then let's put it to a vote, on the matter of Shuhei Hisagi being promoted to the position of captain of the ninth court guard squad all those that recommend him raise your hands now," said Yamamoto.

Captains Kyoraku, Unohana, Hitsugaya, Ukitake, Yamamoto, and Komamura all raised their hands.

"Do the remaining three captains approve of Shuhei Hisagi as captain of the ninth squad?" Asked Yamamoto.

"I approve," said captain Kurotsuchi.

"I approve," said captain Zaraki.

All eyes turned to captain Kuchiki waiting for his vote.

"I don't approve, for the previously stated reasons," said Kuchiki.

"Then the motion is not approved and can not be voted on again until the next meeting," said Yamamoto "motion to close this issue."

"Seconded," said Byakuya.

"Any objections?" asked Yamamoto.

The room was deathly silent indicating there was no objection "the motion is approved, any more old business?" inquired Yamamoto.

Yamamoto waited a few moments as no one said anything "old business is now close, moving on the floor is now open to new business," he said.

Captain Kuchiki and captain Kurotsuchi stepped forward "The floor recognizes captains Kuchiki and Kurotsuchi have new business we will hear captain Kurotsuchi first and then captain Kuchiki," said Yamamoto in a cool unfeeling voice "captain Kurotsuchi please state your business."

"I was recently reviewing the records of the cadavers donated to the twelfth division over the years and have discovered a significant amount of cadavers are unaccounted for the past year, upon further research I found that a significant amount has been missing every year for the past 108 years this matter is very annoying and I am suggesting a full inquiry to the records of all the squads to look for other such anomalies," explained Kurotsuchi.

Everyone knew no one "donated" their bodies to the twelfth squad what usually happened was that the twelfth squads vulture unit would scout out the battlefields and pilfer the dead bodies that were still mostly intact then the shinigami would be listed as missing in action and then the bodies would be processed and the left foot would get a bar code tattoo then frozen until used in a sick inhumane experiment then the data would be record and the body would be incinerated or destroyed in some other unimaginable way.

"Just how many cadavers do you need to be missing before you consider it significant?" asked captain Ukitake.

"Well of the tens of thousands of bodies that are donated only about 34.43% of them are viable for use in experiments and of that 34.43%, 2% of them are unaccounted for each year before 108 years ago that's sixty eight usable bodies for every 10,000 we got. Today we get hundreds of thousands and 39.62% percent are viable 3.51% are unaccounted for. This is not only a significant percent of bodies unaccounted for, this is also a significant increase in bodies unaccounted going from sixty eight bodies to 1390 bodies missing for every 100,000 that are donated," said captain Kurotsuchi.

Kyoraku gave a low whistle "that's a big difference are you sure you're missing all the bodies? Was a manual count done?" he asked.

"Of course a manual count was done three times, who do you think I am Kyoraku? Only you would be too lazy to do a manual count," retorted Kurotsuchi.

"Just checking captain Kurotsuchi, gees you don't have to bite my head off," said captain Kyoraku "anyways I agree with Kurotsuchi if that many bodies are missing something is off and I motion for an immediate inventory of all the thirteen court guards."

"Seconded," said Kurotsuchi.

"Any objections?" Asked Yamamoto.

He waited a few moments to see if anyone had any objections then everyone heard a putta putta putta putta noise coming from captain Kyoraku "Excuse me," said Kyoraku.

Captain Ukitake and captain Zaraki let out a small chuckle "nice one Shunsui," chuckled captain Ukitake.

Yamamoto never dropped his stoic face "The motion is approved, any more new business from you captain Kurotsuchi?" He inquired, acting as if nothing had happened.

"No that is all the new business I have," said Kurotsuchi.

"Moving on to captain Byakuya please state your new business," said Yamamoto.

"Two weeks and three days ago the fugitive shinigami Isshin Shiba was spotted in Kankura town by captain Soi Fon and reported to captain commander Yamamoto, at that time Isshin Shiba was thought to be dead and both captains Soi Fon and Captain commander Yamamoto kept this a secret from everyone and Soi Fon was put in charge of capturing him, now Isshin Shiba was formerly part of the sixth squad under my grandfather Ginrei Kuchiki therefore the sixth squad should be in charge of capturing him and Soi Fon should be recalled back to the Soul Society," stated Byakuya stoically.

"Just how dangerous is he if Byakuya wants the whole squad after him, wasn't he just a vice captain?" Asked captain Zaraki.

"Isshin Shiba is the highest class of criminal even though he was just a vice captain in the sixth squad, but after the basket affair he was immediately promoted to captain of zero squad which brought the squad much honor and respect, but then when he betrayed the Soul Society he tarnished the sixth squads name and brought shame upon my grandfather who mentored him," replied Byakuya.

"Hmm that powerful? Then I motion that I take him on instead of captain Byakuya then," said captain Zaraki.

"I object to this he must be taken care of by the sixth squad," said Byakuya slightly raising his voice.

"I agree with captain Byakuya, that captain Zaraki should not be allowed to hunt down Isshin Shiba, he would destroy most of the city while trying," said captain Ukitake.

"You guys are always ruining my fun," grumble captain Zaraki.

"Because your idea of fun always involves destroyed buildings, many casualties, fifty or more bottles of sake, a bulldozer, the 1937 New York Yankees, an inner tube, fatty tuna, some white out, and a bottle of cheese whiz," said an annoyed captain Hitsugaya.

"You forgot the plaster of Paris captain Hitsugaya," chuckled captain Zaraki.

"Silly me how could I have forgotten the plaster of Paris," said captain Hitsugaya sarcastically.

"Moving on," said captain Byakuya "I motion for the sixth squad to replace captain Soi Fon in the capturing of Isshin Shiba."

"Seconded," said captain Ukitake.

"Any objections?" asked Yamamoto.

"I object and motion to move this matter for further discussion next meeting," said captain Kyoraku.

"Seconded," said captain Hitsugaya quickly.

"Any objections?" Asked Yamamoto again.

There were none so the motion was approved. Since there was no more new business and no announcements the meeting was adjourned and everyone left to do their own business.

-----------

Isshin quickly made his way to his room and took out his sword and then opened the window and flashed out of the room.

"You sense them too Isshin?" hissed the sword.

"I have since late last night but I couldn't just leave them high and dry now could I?" responded Isshin.

"I guess so," replied the sword "I wonder how they built up so many troops in such little time though?"

"It's probably the S.N.O.R.P units made by him," said Isshin "I bet it was the first thing he did after I left."

"You always were against those kind of things even though you had me and used me," said the sword as she sighed.

"You're different and you know it," retorted Isshin "I just hope Kisuke has all the arrangements made and the gate set up or things could get ugly."

"Me too," said the sword as Isshin touched the ground and flashed again.

--------

It had been a few weeks so Soi Fon decided to visit Kisuke and see if he had found any solutions to the gigai problem yet, she decided to walk and took the scenic route walking through a park, which had a lovely rose garden; it had red roses, white roses, black roses, and blue roses. She took a few moments to gaze at them marveling at the wonders of nature and pondered how such a small thing could evoke some of the most beautiful emotions in people. After the rose bushes she came across a boy who's kite was stuck in a nearby tree, due to her newly enhanced size she decided to help the boy out and reached up into the tree and retrieved his kite. That's when she noticed seven ninjas that were shadowing the park, which was no business of hers except for the fact that they all seemed lifeless and without souls but she brushed this off as a training method for erasing your presence from other people.

As she exited the park she walked along the sunny road and entered the open market, which was as busy as ever. Seeing the merchants selling their wares and produce reminded her of her youth before she became part of the onmitsukido and went to the open market in the Soul Society to buy fresh produce for her family's nightly dinner; the smells of fresh fish and raw cabbage as well as small snack stands that would peddle treats like octopus balls and Tayaki pastries which she would buy on occasion if she was rushed out of the house and missed lunch. Coming back to the present she noticed how much smaller this market was compared to the one she used to regular and how most of the people buying were old people sticking to their old traditions as well as five more ninjas strategically placed throughout the market so that the maximum amount of area was covered. Now she was concerned, her seeing ninjas somewhere was not uncommon but this many all on active duty was something to worry about so she casually went over to a radish stand and pretended to look at a radish when actually she was observing one of the ninjas.

'How can they seem so much like corpses' she thought. She knew of techniques that mimicked death but for those you were acting dead too not alive like these; so as a test she decided to take a hundred yen coin and shoot it with her thumb and forefinger at the ninja to see if she could provoke some movement so she might be able to tell what kind of training they had. She shot the coin and it went zooming right towards the ninja 'now we'll see where you come from ninja' she thought as the coin hit the ninja right in the left eye; the ninja didn't move a muscle it acted as if nothing had happened at all. 'What the fuck' thought Soi Fon, even she would have flinched if she had been hit in the eye; this reeked of one of Kurotsuchi's sick experiments, he probably took some of the people from the zaraki district of rukongai and did some sick experiments on them then when he was done he probably converted them into expendable ninjas.

Soi Fon left the market and headed down the familiar back alley towards Kisuke's shop. When she got there she saw Ururu and Jinta sweeping the outside and Tessai was practicing his calligraphy. "Is Kisuke around?" She asked Tessai.

"Yes he's in the basement working on something let me get him for you if you'll kindly wait inside," said Tessai as he slid open the door "Jinta go make some tea for our guest."

As Jinta started to reply Isshin suddenly flashed out of nowhere he instantly saw Soi Fon and shouted "Duck!!"

Thank you for reading chapter 5 as always read, review, and enjoy.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Rings, Bling, and a Vending Machine, what do they all have to do with each other? Stay tuned to finder out.

Disclaimer: Thejabber claims no rights or ownership of Bleach, its characters, or affiliates. Things written in this fanfic are not the views of Thejabber and his parent companies or their affiliates, as well as Tite Kubo, Shounen Jump, and the country of Japan. Things written in this fanfic may contain violence, sexual situations, sexual innuendos, coarse language, pointy objects, stock manipulation, insider trading, hyper yaoi fan girls, tree on bush situations, throwing up, gore, blood, vampire bashing, Nazi bashing, bashing a trashcan, death, death by sword, death by strangling, death by sword like object, death by shikai, death by bankai, death by fuzzy things, death by shiny things, death by things beginning with the letter Q, death by bad guy, death by good guy, death by dying, death by accidental insanity, death by intended insanity, death by crazy pregnant lady, death by ostrich droppings, death by food poisoning, death by food doping, death by terribly cooked food, death by bad drawings, death by artist of bad drawings after you tell them their art work is atrocious, death by serial killing manikin, death by sharks with freaking laser beams attached to their heads, death by reading this disclaimer, death by random ninja, death by ninja with a name, death by ninja not from Naruto, death by homicidal maniac, death by purple hippo spanking the air, death by old age, death by deranged mailman, and death by atomic flaming posterior expulsions. Thus this fanfic has been given the rating M for Mature by the National Committee of Regional Executives for Managing and Distributing Randomly Made Fan fictions by People Above the Age of Twenty and Below the Age of Twenty So Pretty Much Anyone that Isn't Twenty and Doesn't Wear Overalls Everyday They Don't Like Overalls and Overalls Know What They Did Organization (Or the N.C.R.E.M.D.R.M.F.P.A.A.T.B.A.T.S.P.M.A.I.T.D.W.O.E.T.D.L.O.O.K.W.T.D.O for short).

That is all.

P.S. Bullocks.

Soi Fon ducked as a shuriken whizzed right where her jugular used to be, the shuriken grazed her hair taking a few strands of the silky black hair then imbedded itself in a nearby telephone poll. 'What the hell?' thought Soi Fon as she rose back up and started scanning for the perpetrator among the nearby rooftops.

"Get down, woman!" Yelled Isshin as he ran over to Soi Fon and tackled her to the ground as three more shuriken and two kunai passed through the places where her heart and lungs used to be.

"Why are you knocking me down? Those weapons aren't zanpakuto so they can't hurt us," she said trying to push Isshin off her.

"They might not be zanpakuto but they're made from the same material," responded Isshin as he rolled them over to the left so she was on top as a shuriken passed through where Isshin used to be "that one would have split me down the center," he chuckled.

"What do you mean…" she paused for a moment as Isshin rolled them over twice to the left again as several kunai went through the places they used to be and completed their paths into the wall of the building behind them "… made from the same material."

"I mean that they're made from the shards of peoples hearts," said Isshin as he looked behind him "hold your breath it's gonna get smoggy in here."

"Wha…" said Soi Fon but before she could complete her sentence Isshin gave her a deep kiss as fog started to envelop them. Isshin rolled them over several times while still kissing her until they got out of the fog and were right next to Kisuke's shop with Isshin on top. Isshin ended the kiss and Soi Fon slapped him hard across the face "never kiss me you pervert!"

"Then next time I say hold your breath, you hold your breath!" Yelled Isshin as he got up went to the door of the shop opened it and quickly ran in.

"Wait a minute, you're under arrest Isshin Shiba!" She called after him as she got up and followed him inside.

Soi Fon raced into the back of the shop shuriken and kunai whizzing past her barely missing every time. When she got there she saw Isshin jump down a hole with a big ladder coming out of it. She went up to it and looked down, it was pitch black and she couldn't see the bottom of the hole if there was one 'well I've done crazier things in my life' thought Soi Fon as she jumped into the hole hoping she could survive the fall to the bottom and that her prey wouldn't die that easily either.

The fall down seemed to take forever. The black around her got dull quickly as the fall had already lasted several minutes and it didn't seem like it would be ending anytime soon. Soi Fon decided to get into a meditative pose and calm her mind while she was falling. She assumed the lotus pose from yoga and remembered the past.

She remembered the time her and Yoruichi were in the pit, which was the place were the dimensional walls between the Soul Society and Hueco Mundo were the thinnest so hollows often came out of there; in her memory she remembered that one day while patrolling an adjuchas class menos grande appeared which was very rare seeing as the barrier between the dimensions gets stronger in proportion to the class of hollow it is. The Hollow had some very annoying abilities; one of them was to make black gas substance, which made everything pitch black, and erased its spiritual pressure from their senses. It was a long hard battle in which Soi Fon grew stronger and gained valuable experience on how to avoid Yoruichi's surprise groping attacks on her, that women could never be serious when fighting battles.

Soi Fon sighed then felt some light on her cheek and quickly switched to a crouching pose as she looked down and saw a light at the bottom of the hole, getting brighter and brighter. 'Finally' she thought 'this has been the longest drop of my life.'

Soi Fon Braced for impact as she exited the hole and came into a huge well lit canyon like room she looked down and saw she had another few thousand feet to fall. Suddenly years of training took over, adrenaline rushed through her body and things around her seemed to have slow down she remembered the training she had with the ninja parachutes and assumed the spread eagle pose to slow down her descent. She looked around for a body of water to land into and saw one in the corner of her eye in the far left corner, and as much as she tried she couldn't move out of the six foot by six foot area that seemed to be the in the perimeter of the hole.

'What the fuck!' Thought Soi Fon as she was now only 1000 feet from the floor, she did some calculations in her head 'I have about half a minute till I reach the ground, damn it and I won't slow down enough for it to be a nonfatal impact but I should land on my feet maybe then my body will be recognizable' she thought as she moved her body so that her feet were flat and facing the ground.

'I guess this is it' she thought as she closed her eyes and braced for impact and the end of her life. She hit the ground with her eyes still closed 'one, two, three' she thought as she opened her eyes and looked around it all looked liked were she was she looked on her body and there were no gashes or bones sticking out of her body she put her left hand on her jugular and felt a pulse 'so I'm alive, how I'll figure out how later. But first I need to find Isshin and arrest him and go back to the soul society before those weird ninjas come back' she thought to herself as she heard Kisuke and Isshin talking in the distance and ran over there and saw Kisuke and Isshin and a giant square gate made with many talismans of different shapes and colors.

"How much longer Kisuke?" complained Isshin as he paced around the gate anxiously.

"And it's …… done!" Shouted Kisuke as the center of the gate lit up then dulled to a purple blue swirl of miasma like stuff "you know the purple blue color has always been so sad and I really wanna change it to something more cheerful like… lime green and pink, yeah that sounds cheerful and tasty."

"If it's you, I'll bet you'll finish it in a week Kisuke, now I must be off. Thank you old friend," said Isshin as he patted Kisuke on the shoulder, then turned around and shouted "Hey miss shinigami I hope you like going on wild goose hunts because this will be the last time you see me. Ever!" and with that he jumped into the portal and was on his merry way.

'Oh no you don't' thought Soi Fon as she rushed over to Kisuke "I'll deal with you later, but first where did he go?" she asked as the gate started to close.

"I don't know he gave me the blueprints to it two days ago with the required funds to build it in that amount of time and I won't be able to study it because as soon as it was done the blue prints burned and it was made to work once from this side before becoming a one way gate," said Kisuke as he shrugged.

"So you mean?" said Soi Fon.

"Yep if you wanna catch him you need to go through that gate now or else who knows when we'll see him next," replied Kisuke as the gate was almost closed.

"If that Bastard wants me to chase him to the ends of the earth then I'll give him a chase to remember," responded Soi Fon as she gracefully jumped in the portal right as it closed.

"They have all the fun and leave me to clean up," said Kisuke as he was surrounded by ninjas "well I guess cleaning up has it's perks to, I guess," as he took his sword cane out from out of no where and prepared to fight in the "normal" Kisuke way, which was anything but normal and was anything but fighting.

---------------

The next morning Yuzu went to wake up Isshin but he was gone from his room, after looking extensively throughout the house they figured he decided to leave during the night without telling anyone. Which was fine with them they just put a closed sign on the front door and went about their daily business.

"Ichigo we need to get going," complained Rukia as she dragged him out the door.

Ichigo yawned, "Where are we going again?" He asked groggily.

"Don't you remember today we're going to the Soul Society to get blood work done before the marriage you block head I told you last night before bed," said a pissed off Rukia as she shoved a piece of toast with jam in her mouth and a piece of toast with butter on it in his.

"Ohf mah," mumbled Ichigo while munching on the toast remembering the long talk they had about all these long tedious procedures they had to go through in the soul society before they could get married in less than a month.

"And today's the day we get blood work done by captain Unohana who graciously offered to do it for us instead of some random person from the forth division, or worse someone from the twelfth division," Rukia shivered at the thought of one of those spooks taking her blood and doing insane useless things to it.

Rukia opened the door outside still dragging Ichigo along till she got to a back alley and went down there "okay Hanatarou said he would be here in…" she looked at her watch which looked like a rabbits head "…three minutes," she completed her sentence and let go of Ichigo.

"What the hell is that?" Said Ichigo pointing at Rukia's watch with a blank stare as he finished off the toast.

"This is the chappy watch slash hollow detector slash sowing machine slash cone of silence generator it's the newest in shinigami gadget technology and the chappy model is the most popular among the female shinigami and it was really hard to get Ichigo, plus I think it's cute" she said while showing off all the watches functions.

"That's stupider than that chappy soul candy dispenser," said Ichigo.

Rukia kicked Ichigo in the face and kept her foot planted there "shut up that's not something you say to your future pregnant wife Ichigo" said Rukia with a loving malice.

Ichigo was about to reply when Hanatarou came through a senkaimon, which had doors resembling emergency room doors at a hospital. Hanatarou looked at them "am I interrupting something?" He asked Rukia.

Rukia quickly took her foot off Ichigo and pulled him to an upright position then bowed slightly "Thank you for taking time out of your day for us Hanatarou," she said respectfully to Hanatarou then elbowed Ichigo in the side.

"Ah, yes thank you for taking time out of your day for us Hanatarou," said Ichigo as he bowed.

"No problem at all," said Hanatarou as he bowed back then turned around "this way please," he said as the senkaimon gate opened and he stepped in it at a brisk walking pace.

Ichigo and Rukia followed expecting to have to run seeing as Ichigo didn't have a hell butterfly, but instead it was just like walking through a door and on the other side was a medical waiting room. Both Ichigo and Rukia looked surprised.

Hanatarou saw the looks on their faces and started to explain, "You see normally when a shinigami gets severally injured in the human world they don't survive the long trip through the regular senkaimon with hell butterflies, so the Shinigami Research and Development Institute made this for medical emergencies."

"Then why did we use it?" Asked Ichigo.

"Oh, because I don't like walking," said Hanatarou innocently.

Rukia and Ichigo both stared at Hanatarou who added as if it were an afterthought "and because going through the regular senkaimon will mess up the results of your blood tests, because of some of the properties it has."

Just then captain Unohana walked through the doors "ah, Ichigo and Rukia you're right on time please follow me," she said politely "thank you for bringing them Hanatarou."

"Anytime ma'am," replied Hanatarou bashfully as he went back to his normal duties.

Captain Unohana led them down a corridor and then took a left and continued walking until they came to an examination room and went in and Ichigo and Rukia followed her in "sit down please," she said to them kindly.

Both of them sat down in the chairs next to the wall and put their arms on the armrests.

"Rukia you first stick out your right arm and make a fist please," said captain Unohana politely as she got out a butterfly needle and several vials.

Rukia stuck out her right arm and made a fist "I hate blood work," she said.

Captain Unohana took a bandage and tied it higher up on Rukia's arm. Next she took an alcohol wipe and wiped a spot on Rukia's arm to sterilize the area. Then without even feeling for it, captain Unohana stuck the needle right into Rukia's vein and then blood started to flow into the first and smallest vial as she took off the bandage that was on Rukia's arm, when it had filled up two thirds of the way she took it off and quickly replaced it with a bigger vial and then labeled the first one with a preprinted tag; she repeated this several times until all the vials had various amounts of blood in them. Then she took a piece of gauze and placed in over where the needle penetrated the skin then took the needle out and held the gauze there for five seconds, it turned into a skin like substance and stuck it's self onto the wound and stopped the bleeding.

Captain Unohana said calmly "I'll be right back," she took the vials of blood and left the room. A few minutes later she came back with six new empty vials and a clean butterfly needle "while we're waiting for Rukia's blood work let's get started on Ichigo's."

Ichigo gulped, then stuck out his right arm and made a fist.

Captain Unohana repeated the same blood drawing process with Ichigo as she had with Rukia, when she had finished "Now to get the results of Rukia's blood work," she said as she exit the room in a graceful demeanor.

Again it took a few minutes until captain Unohana re-entered the room this time holding a clipboard with several sheets of paper clipped onto it. Captain looked at the clipboard and then looked back at Rukia "you have a secret young lady," she said in a squirrelly "you're pregnant."

"Yeah I know," said Rukia not phased at all seeing as she already knew.

"With sextuplets," continued captain Unohana as if Rukia had not interrupted at all.

A long silence passed and finally Rukia asked "You serious?"

"Yes I am," replied captain Unohana in a calm but serious tone.

Another long silence passed, then Rukia got out of her chair, stood in front of Ichigo and started to strangle him.

"You did this to me!" She yelled angrily "You got me pregnant with six kids!"

After a few minutes she let go and sat down again as if nothing had happened. Ichigo turned and just stared at her with a face that just screamed 'What the Fuck!!'

"Now with six kids you're gonna have six times the pregnancy hormones, so we're gonna need you come in every four to five days to check your hormone levels to make sure you stay healthy, do you understand?" she asked.

"Yes," said Rukia and then she started crying uncontrollably and punched Ichigo "You did this to me you Bastard!"

"Ouch!" Yelped Ichigo then he turned to captain Unohana "how much of her reactions should I chalk up to hormones?"

"Oh, right now I'd say about sixty five to seventy percent but later on it'll be closer to ninety eight or ninety nine percent," replied captain Unohana "Oh and I should get your blood work now Ichigo," she said as she scurried out of the room.

By the time she got back Rukia was drooling and nagging Ichigo to get her Mint chocolate chip ice cream over spicy Indian curry with an almond malt to drink. Then Ichigo who looked desperate saw her and his eyes lit up like Christmas lights "look Rukia, Captain Unohana is back we should listen to what she has to say," he said desperately.

"Oh, all right if you insist," said Rukia grumpily as she crossed her arms and sat down.

Unohana looked at the clipped board, then at Ichigo and then at the clipboard again and then at Ichigo "Ichigo I need to take this back there must have been a mistake made with your blood work," she said to him politely.

"What do you mean, a mistake?" asked Ichigo.

"Well according to this your blood type is DX," she said.

"DX," gasped Rukia "there must be a mistake go retest it now!"

"My thoughts exactly," said Unohana as she rushed out of the room to retest the blood.

Ichigo just sat there with a blank stare. Normally he would ask Rukia what blood type DX meant but he was too scared of how she would react and didn't want to test fate. He had never heard of it and assumed it must mean something bad if he had it so he hoped he didn't.

Ten minutes later captain Unohana came back with a sad look on her face.

"Well?" asked Rukia.

"I retested Ichigo's blood…." She paused for a moment "and he has blood type DX."

"Retest it!" Yelled Rukia as she got out of her chair, fell to her knees and started to cry.

"I did five times in three separate labs, there's no doubt Ichigo has blood type DX," said captain Unohana sadly.

"Um… What does that mean exactly?" asked Ichigo who was thoroughly confused by now.

"Blood type DX is a blood type that's exclusive to the soul society's royal family," said captain Unohana.

"And what's so bad about that?" Asked Ichigo.

"Oh there's nothing wrong with that, it's just I rarely ever give bad news so I wanted to act like you were going to die," she said cheerfully.

"Then why is Rukia crying?" asked Ichigo.

"Oh she's just pregnant," replied captain Unohana cheerfully.

Rukia suddenly stopped crying and start to uncontrollably laugh "Yeah Ichigo I'm just pregnant," she said giddily.

"So how do I have this type DX blood?" Asked Ichigo.

"Oh I think I can explain that," said Rukia who had suddenly become calm and had magically pulled out her sketchpad and a marker.

'Oh boy,' thought Ichigo as Rukia started her explanation with one of her famous drawings.

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That's all for Chapter six folks read, enjoy, and review.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Getting yelled at for slamming the toilet seat down…again.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, any of it's characters, or any of it's settings; in fact I don't own anything because I lost all my money when the sub-prime mortgage problem befell America and am writing this in my new home, a size sixteen Nike shoebox on the corner of fifth and Broadway, I wave a Pizza hut sign around so I can pay for the mortgage on my shoebox which is quite expensive. Some side affects of reading my fanfic include but are not limited too: hysterical laughter, insane laughter, hysterically insane laughter, questioning your sanity, questioning my sanity, questioning whether or not toast bleeds, trying to find the last digit in Pi, trying to scuba dive with a paper lunch bag and a phantom of the opera mask, taking both the red and blue pill at the same time, performing a lobotomy on an oak tree, performing invasive unnecessary surgery on a patient with an ingrown toenail, finding out your uncle is actually your father, misplacing your three month old child in your bedroom, going on a quest in the Andes mountains to find the lost city of gold, becoming a protester for pokemon rights and start throwing rocks you painted to look like pokeballs at people yelling 'Gotta catch 'em all', figuring out you're a slave to yourself and start rebelling against you, trying to find logic in a chaotic world, trying to flood the world with a garden hose, trying to microwave a CD burrito with extra feta cheese, accidentally sticking yourself with a syringe that contains the insulin for your diabetic dog, eating dogs food, eating the food rich people eat, eating the bad parts of the animal oh wait that's what rich people eat, becoming god to a civilization that are small and live on a quarter but make the best blueberry pie you've ever had, carving a pumpkin with a spoon, mining for broccoli in the mines on Europa, burning books about vampires that drink animal blood and stalker mildly attractive girls, hunting vampires, realizing the real vampire is the electric company, being bitten by an electric company and becoming one, thinking you're an electric company and providing electricity to people, being told you're actually a waste treatment plant and smell quite unpleasant, being shutdown by the city because they can't afford to treat there waste to anything nice like a steak or a blockbuster movie, becoming an underground cheerios vender during underground cock fights, being arrested for dealing cheerios, going to jail for dealing cheerios, writing an angry letter to cheerios, and making a tetherball your only friend. Please consult your doctor before reading this fanfic, women who are pregnant or may become pregnant should not read this fanfic as it will do nothing to them. Drinking caffeine while reading my fanfic may result in hyperness and the urge to serve in the merchant marines, do not take any other medications while on my fanfic because of unknown adverse effects.

Signed,

The Management.

P.S. To the owner of the red Buick your lights of on, owner of the red Buick lights are on.

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"Everything came from chaos," began Rukia as she scribbled across and labeled it chaos "Then two dimensions formed the living world which consisted of humans, animals, plants, etc; and the spirit world which consisted of spirits, soul reapers, and hollows."

As she drew something that was supposed to represent both worlds but neither Ichigo, captain Unohana, nor the Author could tell what it was, then she continued, "The spirit world was riddled with strife and battle between hollows and soul reapers," she drew a bunny in black fighting a bunny in white.

"Until one day a soul reaper named Osaragi Harkonnen appeared from nowhere and he used his one of his zanpakuto's ability's and divided the spirit world into two, they became Hueco Mundo and the Soul Society," she scribbled half of one page black and labeled it Hueco Mundo and the other half she labeled the Soul Society.

"Everyone agreed that for saving them from the hollows, Osaragi Harkonnen would become the king of the Soul Society and would protect them, He had one son and died at the age of 2765 years after which a period of 4 years of mourning took place and then his son who became Osaragi Harkonnen II," Rukia had drawn something which turned out to be a bowl of ramen but it was covered in her drool "mmmm ramen," she said as she salivated over the page.

"Rukia!" Exclaimed Ichigo snapping her back into reality "what happened next?"

"Oh yes, on with the story, during the reign of Osaragi Harkonnen II the Vastrode lordes figured out how to bridge the gap between Hueco Mundo and the living world and started to consume living people along with many hordes of different class hollows. So Osaragi and his five generals along with their hordes of shinigami stuck back and forced the hollows back into Hueco Mundo and placed a barrier which has weakened over time allowing low class hollows through," she said attempting to draw an epic battle scene that looked like bunnies fighting bears and big stick figures.

"After the barrier was made Osaragi and his generals came back and had a major feast, then to reward his generals he married his five beautiful daughters to them and made them the five noble family's (four after the Shiba clan fell from grace) leaving the oldest son and the youngest son to contend to the throne, they both had the special requirement fulfilled…" explained Rukia.

"Special requirement?" Said Ichigo interrupting her.

"Yes, there's a special requirement one must meet before being able to become king," said Rukia as she bashed Ichigo in the head for interrupting her and continued the story "both had fulfilled the special requirement fulfilled and both had violent supporters that picketed, rioted, and got into melee brawls with each other for the one they supported. Until one day the youngest son lost interest and decided he would move to the world of the living with his new invention the gigai and have a quiet life there," said Rukia while drawing a bunny riot and a bunny protest.

"But before he could move there the Vastrode Lordes managed to breach the barrier between the Soul society and Hueco Mundo and staged a big attack during which time the five generals sons were old enough to fight in their places it was a truly epic battle of epicness, the sheer level of awesome was over twenty megafonzies (1 megafonzie = 100 Arthur Fonzerelli)," she explained going back to her earlier drawing of fights.

"In the end they won but the eldest son who was gonna take over was severely injured and his spiritual powers were severely reduced so he gave up on becoming king and retired to the world of the living while the youngest son went on to become Osaragi Harkonnen III and created the king's dimension and made two Ou Ken which could access it, one for himself and one for the captain commander of the thirteen court guards; while the brother who was named Shujin Hinomaki became a feudal lord in Japan he also had a wife and several kids," cried Rukia as she drew bunnies kids with a bunny feudal lord and his bunny wife in a kimono.

"We lost contact with the Hinomaki family 300 or so years ago and Osaragi Harkonnen III died 200 years ago because of an illness his son Osaragi Harkonnen IV now is the king of the Soul Society and has three sons, all trying to get to the throne and become Osaragi Harkonnen V," shouted Rukia drawing three bunnies all fighting for a crown and then turned towards her audience of captain Unohana and Ichigo "and that's why Ichigo has type DX blood."

Ichigo stared for a while "that doesn't explain it at all," he yelled at Rukia.

"Does so," retorted Rukia as she stuck her tongue at him.

"Does not, right captain Unohana?" asked Ichigo.

"I think I get it but it was very hard to," replied captain Unohana "Rukia is saying you're probably directly related to Shujin Hinomaki."

"Efachy," mumbled Rukia who was now chewing on Ichigo's skin.

"Then why didn't you just say that,' winced Ichigo as he was being chewed on.

Rukia stopped chewing on Ichigo's skin "cause I wanted to draw," she wined.

"That makes sense," said Ichigo rolling his eyes then he turned to captain Unohana and asked, "Anything else we need to do today?"

"Well we need to register your blood type and take down your family history, to see where you rank in the noble family's which is quite a long and tedious process I've heard," replied captain Unohana in a sweet tone relaxing tone.

"Just great, well is there anything we can do about her while I'm doing this?" he asked pointing at Rukia and had a desperate look in his eye.

"Hey, I can hear you, you know," said an extremely pissed off Rukia as she bit down extra hard on Ichigo "and if you think I'm just a pain I'll go and raid the cafeteria, I'm hungry and eating for seven; now get me a wheelchair!!" She shouted.

A moment later one of the staff brought in a folding wheelchair and unfolded it "here you are Mrs. Kuchiki, would you like me to push you to the cafeteria?" he asked in a stoic but somehow gentle voice.

"No thanks, I need the arm exercise; plus I'm gonna race in the wheelchair grand prix with this baby and win," she said in a stupid happy go lucky tone as she sat down in the wheelchair and sped off making car noises with her mouth that could be heard throughout the ward.

"I'm marrying that crazy wheelchair racer, oh joy," sighed Ichigo.

"At least you know it wont be a boring marriage," said captain Unohana sweetly trying to cheer him up "now if you would kindly follow me, we can get you registered and start getting your family tree down," she said as she started walking out of the room.

"I know, but sometimes a little boredom is nice," said Ichigo as he followed her.

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"Ugh," moan Soi Fon as she kept pressing onward in the windy tunnel she had entered in when she jumped into the portal at Kisuke's shop "What the fuck is this," she shouted.

Usually traversing a wind tunnel would be no problem for her, but this one was somehow different. It wasn't that this one was very narrow about three feet across she guessed or the fact that the ceiling wasn't very high she guessed it was about six feet and four inches above the ground; while both of these were unusual for a wind tunnel they were manageable and wouldn't effect her in the least. But for the life of her she couldn't figure out why she kept getting weaker with every step she took. 'Maybe it's some kind of new poison that drains your strength slowly' she thought 'No only someone like captain Kurotsuchi would develop a poison like that, and Isshin doesn't seem to have that kind of character.'

She decided to push such thoughts away as too much thinking would weaken her will power to push on in this bizarre place she had come to. When she was about a quarter of the way though she guessed the wind was joined by an extreme chill with snow, which turned into a blizzard but this did not deter Soi Fon, years of training and experience shouted at her to stop or she would lose her life, but her pride and honor kept telling her that she would not and could not fail to capture Isshin Shiba this time. It was her pride and honor that she listened to and kept pushing her onwards, she could not feel her hands or feet; and was starting to lose sensation in her arms.

When she had gone about halfway through the tunnel (she decided to stop calling it a wind tunnel when the blizzard came), the cold stopped and for a few steps it was pleasant and warming up but then it became like the dessert hot and dry her lips were chapping sweat rained from her brow, she could feel her arms and legs again, but wished she couldn't as her body was glistening in sweat and was sticky, the wind still blew but it just made things seem hotter but Soi Fon kept pushing on her stubbornness greater than a mule and Rush Limbough combined.

She had reached the three quarters mark and was so weak that she couldn't beat a low class hollow anymore, she was dehydrated and dizzy, she thought things couldn't get harder, she was wrong; dead wrong. It started out as a few grains of sand, but it multiplied in a sandstorm, she put her arm in front of her eyes to help keep the sand out of her eyes as she drudged forwards dragging her feet she felt as if she was in hell.

Soi Fon was about twenty steps from the door when everything stopped; the wind, the heat, and the sand were all gone. 'Finally,' thought Soi Fon as lightly put her foot down. When she put her foot down it felt as if one million pounds were on her shoulders pressing down on her; at this point Soi Fon was as weak as a regular konpaku, her mind was blank the only thought in her mind was to reach the door and take that perverted bastard Isshin down. She took another step the weight she felt had increased her body was slowly being pushed down to the floor; she had walked about ten steps when the weight on her body made it so she could no longer walk and she was reduced to crawling as it felt like a whole planet was on her back; she was exhausted beyond the breaking point of anything living but knew if she stopped, that she would surely die.

She was less than a body length away from the doors, which were an elegant shade of silver with a pristine sheen to it, she saw etchings of epic battles with mighty warriors that she could not recognize, but none of that mattered to her as she made it to the edge of the door; still on her stomach feeling the weight of one thousand suns pressing down on her she reached up with both hands slowly as felt along the door for marks deep enough to use as finger holds, after several seconds of feeling around she found a line deep enough she latched as many fingers as she onto it and running on willpower alone she started to pull herself up. After what seemed like hours of pulling herself up and looking for new lines she reached the door handles, they were smooth and shiny as she grasped them, she knew if Isshin was waiting on the other side of the doors for her, then she was dead; because there's no way anyone would let there enemy recover from the brink of death when they could just kill them and get it over with. Soi Fon turned the handles and leaned against the door so her body weight would just push it open.

It was bright on the other side of the door and felt very humid, but Soi Fon didn't care, she dropped on the ground, all her strength and willpower were gone as she drifted off to sleep weary from the hell she had just escaped.

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Isshin found Soi Fon laying in the forest still unconscious two days after he had arrived 'damn girl, you got spunk,' he thought as he picked her up in the fireman's cradle and started walking out of the forest "prepare a bed and an iv drip, also warm up the MRI machine we need to check her for internal injuries," he said.

"Right away Isshin-sama," said a shadowed figure that disappeared into the shadows and so we'll never find out if it was a he or a she or what they looked like.

Isshin walked into the magically appearing clinic and took off her clothes and carefully folded them admired her body for a minute. 'I might as well,' he thought as he quickly fondled her breast and heard her moan from her unconscious state 'she's still reacting to stimulus that's a good sign, but I better stop…' he groped her breast '…right after that," he thought as he attached various suction cups that were coming from various machines that measured various things and were attached to various fun places on Soi Fon's body. Next he slipped a paper gown on her and laid her in a patient bed, and then he inserted the IV needle into Soi Fon's left arm.

"You're less trouble than you're worth," he whispered into her ear "but just barely."

"Isshin-sama, the MRI machine is warmed up," said a voice over and intercom.

"Bring a team down and we'll get her up there and scanned also prepared an operating theater just in case," Yelled Isshin back into the intercom.

"Right away Isshin-sama," replied the voice on the intercom.

Just then a team of blonde sexy nurses with big boobs came in and rolled the bed with Soi Fon in it away to the MRI room, on there way out Isshin gave one of them a firm open palmed smack on the ass.

"It's good to be me," he said to himself as he followed them to the MRI room.

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That's chapter seven read, review and enjoy.

Oh, also this chapter is the one were I went over fifty pages single spaced.


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